A person is said to have Narcissism Personality Disorder when his mental and physical orientation towards others is less and is deeply inclined towards his own self. I have always felt that we are all narcissist in some way or another, sometimes it’s that we are fighting ourselves and traces and reflections are visible outside when we can’t stop talking about ourselves and trying to prove ourselves good. Is this also narcissism? The phrases, “I’m the best”, “I love myself”, etc. etc. used often in self-healing and sometimes motivating, do they lead us to narcissism? Once I had read that a man’s nature can never be changed, it can modify or disguise itself with time, but can’t change. So, have the narcissists always been so, or some incident forced them into it?
Let’s take a look at some of the characteristics of a person who seems normal, but suffers from Narcissism Personality Disorder:
1. He is melodramatic:
One thing that is common with all the narcissists is that they excel in lying and playing with emotions. The only thing which they love more than themselves is being melodramatic, exaggerating the situations and then taking advantage of it. A narcissist is skilled in playing the victim card and more often than not, he is so skilled that you won’t even doubt them a second. They consider themselves the center of the universe, conversations, achievements, hardships and any dimension that you can name. For any struggle that you mention, they’ve always seen the worse, for any achievement that you avail, they’ve always achieved more.
2. He is the croaking frog of his small well:
The world for a narcissist is limited, bound and confined within a small limit: he, himself. There exists no world outside him and no man beyond him. His interests, his surroundings, his tastes, his knowledge are the only things that matter. Dare to question his intellect and you’ll witness an aggression you’ve never seen before. He will use all means to prove his grounds correct. The difference between a narcissist and an insecure person trying to prove themselves correct are that an insecure man is doubtful and wants to be appreciated, while a narcissist feels that he is correct and he deserves to be appreciated.
3. They often have a history of abuse or ignorance:
We all have our own methods of coping with pain and hurt, be it wrong or right, logical or illogical, we all find a way and stick to it. Sometimes the people who’ve been humiliated and ignored for long develop this disorder in order to protect themselves from pain. No one ever stood up for them and so they removed everyone out from their little world, and with time, built strong and rigid walls of narcissism that are completely self centered. I think, now, I understand why old people say that everything can be conquered with love, because most of the ailments that we see today have arisen due to a lack of it.
4. You are either a delicacy or a toothache to them:
When you help these people in boosting their self-esteem and their preconceived regal status, you’re a favorite to them. At that moment, there’s no pious or Godly human in the world like you and once you outrage them, ignore their welfare or maybe just put your need on the higher pedestal, you turn into the worst devil, a total piece of crap to them. The narcissists keep fluctuating between the two, and so does their behavior and mood towards you.
5. Their head is always clouded in superiority:
The narcissists always have a sense of superiority clouding their judgments and feelings, they consider themselves the undisputed achiever and the highly qualified noblemen who deserve special treatment. They don’t want something, they believe that none other than them deserves it. When you talk to them, you’ll often feel belittled and this is the supreme cause that their relationships with other people don’t run smooth. The narcissists need to put you down, so that they can feel that they are above you.
6. They are selfish:
Contrary to the usual perception that narcissists are rude or arrogant, they’re usually not. Depending on the benefits they derive from you, their behavior and actions are modified. They remind me of parasites, who live on the host’s body and derive nutrition from them. Sweet or sour, tempting or bitter, whatever their behavior might be, the prime concern for narcissists is their own benefits and interests. They are selfish and we all know it.
7. They can’t empathize with others:
Narcissists seldom empathize with anyone, they can show you sympathy but can’t empathize. The reason could be that time and their experiences have moulded them into a cocoon, which is unaware of the interests of others. A narcissist fails to connect with anyone, as their horizon is limited to themselves. And, so, the needs of others never overshadows that of their own. They might be your good friends, but they are just there in good times. The distinct feature is that they never even realize the way they’re behaving. Once upon a time, they used the walls as an armor to protect themselves and now the armor uses them to hold itself strong.
8. Can be enslaved with flattery.
The people who are only interested in their own interests are manipulative, melodramatic and selfish, can they also have a weakness? The answer is in affirmation. Everyone has a price and for the narcissists, the price is they, themselves. If you want something from them or to tame them, you just need to flatter them. History has proved this innumerable times, the narcissists have been deployed by wise people through flattery.
9. They dislike most of the people.
The narcissists dislike most of the people, and the reason is, that they have a quality which makes the narcissists feel inferior about themselves. Now, there are two perspectives for it, one, that the person has a quality or demerit for which they were humiliated or hurt once and second that, the person has something that the narcissists don’t and they secretly want it. Envy is not as simple as it seems, it comes from a deep desire of being acknowledged and worthy, something they have always failed to have.
10. Have very high standards for everything.
The narcissists consider them superior in everything, they are always indulged in fantasies and daydreams of possessions they don’t have and so, they look at the world with the same superiority struck spectacle. Everything they see or aspire is affected by their pathogenic thoughts and seems less than what they think they deserve. People often fail in matching up with their expectations and the narcissists end up disappointed.
I think we are all narcissists in some way or the other, we all have our extents but remember that until you’re aware of your actions, you’re not suffering from the same. You still have the chance of rectifying your actions, the problem lies in those heads who don’t see any negativity or issues in their actions.