Relationships aren’t as flowery from the inside as it looks from the outside. It requires two individuals putting in a lot of effort to be with each other. Undoubtedly, the first few months feel like heaven. There is a drive in between both the people – a journey to know each other, to meet each other, to talk to each other. The other person looks like your favorite puzzle that you so desperately want to solve. But beyond those months come the days when you’ve already solved the mystery, or are almost there. Things again start to become monotonous, and the attachment with each other begins to fade.
Yes, to be in love with a special someone who cares about you and you care about him is so beautiful. I mean who doesn’t want that? But there are many other aspects of it as well which we don’t think when we go in a relationship. Ego clashes, insecurity, jealousy, lack of time and proper communication are some of them.
More problem kicks in when you are in a long-distance relationship. There are hardly some relationships that can make it through the solid phase. Moreover, these relationships need a lot of emotional stability than others do.
Some of the reasons, why these long- distance relationships don’t last, are:
The Surrounding Changes
No matter how much you’ve promised your better half that you wouldn’t change, it’s not going to happen. We do vary according to our environment, no matter how much we hate to admit it. With a new place and fresh faces, we tend to discover those untouched portions of us which we never had a clue existed.
Similarly, we get drawn to it. We tend to find ourselves in places where we thought we don’t belong. We find it tough to adapt to the new environment. With change in our lifestyle we change our whole relationship.
Lack of Communication
What most couples face when they are in a long distance relationship is the lack of proper communication. Sometimes that happens because we are genuinely busy or our schedule clashes or we’re too tired. Although we all love space and independence and ‘me-time,’ we often fail to realize how much the other person is getting affected. Therefore, for the relationship to work, we must allow a specific time in a day for our partner and try and maintain a balance between both.
No Physical Touch
It is one of the most real yet unaccepted reasons. Though we claim that we put love forward than anything else, there’s a part in all of us which craves physical intimacy. There comes a time when phone and video calls don’t satisfy us anymore and we long to feel a sense of touch from the person. It is during these times when we need to have a lot of mental stability.
Insecurity kicks in!
With a lack of proper communication and meet-ups, jealousy and insecurity are sure to occupy our minds. We start to overthink things. The fact that we are not aware much of their environment gulps us. Suddenly, we suffer from self-doubt. Anyone and everyone close to our partners make us feel insecure.
You Don’t Have Enough Money
Someone said it right; love doesn’t get so cheap. Even though we want to make up for all the communication gap, insecurities and fights by meeting and spending some quality time together, our wallet doesn’t let us. Distance is directly proportional to the money needed to travel the distance. With regular meet-ups, we tend to lose out on the money we need for our necessities.
You Start Lying
With increasing problems and fights and insecurities, we tend to lie and put up a fake front to our partners to save the relationship. We think that by lying about certain things, we can cease our better halves from getting angry and hurt. When we realize that it is working, we start deceiving them more. However, you cannot stop the truth from coming out. Sooner or later, the truth comes, and that is when it destructs the whole relationship in seconds.
You Keep Within Yourself
Even though you are feeling awful about a specific thing or situation, you tend not to share it with your partner and keep it within yourself. There could be various reasons for doing so. One could be because you are a natural introvert. Second could be because your partner is already under a lot of pressure and you don’t want to add on to it. Third could probably be because you both are in a fight and you know sharing it wouldn’t make a difference but would add on to the battle. Whatever be the reason, keeping within yourself wouldn’t fetch you anything useful. You would start to think more negatively and would drown under the wave of insecurity and self-doubt. So the best way to prevent this is by speaking up.
Nobody can see the unforeseen future. One has to make the tough choice of letting go of their loved ones because of the career choices they make. Career choices often force two different people to stay in two different places or continents. Often people in a long distance relationship decide to put an end to it because of their unclear or unsure future. With no regular meet-ups, physical contact and persistent communication, you tend to sacrifice a lot less for the person as well. What follows next are ego-clashes, and the grip to your relationship starts to loosen, and you decide the best is to let go.
You Tend To Give Up
Not everyone has what it takes to be in a long distance relationship. One has to put in a lot of effort, be a positive thinker, and need to let go of the things that can damage the relationship. But what we generally do is let go of the relationship. Most of us cannot take all the pressures that come with a long distance relationship, and therefore we convince ourselves that giving up might give us the peace we crave. However, we must understand where there are gloomy days; there are sunny days as well. Giving up is never a solution; instead, talking about how you are feeling with your partner could be the correct way.
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
A proverb which we have all heard since childhood, made more sense when we grew up. You start losing your affecting with your partner slowly and gradually when you don’t meet your partner for an extended period. Eventually, there would come a day when you would find that have you spent hours or even a day without talking to the person which you previously thought was impossible. Life keeps moving for the both of you, and your priorities change even when you don’t want it to be.