Rightly declared, and truly manifested, “Matters of heart are always complicated”. One such terrible and very complex situation occurs when you realize that the boy/girl you have a crush on, likes someone else. What if that “someone” is none else than your own best friend? Sounds terribly heartbreaking, right? This situation is not a hypothetical one. It does occur in today’s life, especially in the love-hate world of teens. Everyone understands that finding your crush liking your best friend is a pathetic situation but this does not mean you stand at the dead end of the world. There can still be some right cards you can play to make the condition favorable, or at least bearable. Listed below are 10 things to do while you are suffering from a terrible heartbreak or a similar condition on the lines mentioned above:
10. Analyze the “extent” of the liking:
The very first thing you must try to know is the extent to which your crush likes your best friend. Is it some random temporary liking? Or has your crush developed deep roots of emotions for your bestie? If latter is the case, you can’t really do much about it other than making sure he/she doesn’t return getting hurt. However, if the liking is temporary in nature and if you know you still stand a chance, giving up should not be an option for consideration. Just because you crush is attracted a bit to your friend, you can’t stop trying. Remember your crush might be liking your pal, but he/she doesn’t hate you either. Another thing you must know is what resides inside the heart of your best friend. Is it a one way or a two way liking? Since he/she is your best friend, no one other than you can understand him/her better.
9. Avoid jealousy – It can make you vulnerable! :
Jealousy is a trait of the weak, composure is that of the mighty. Remember, the feeling of jealousy that may erupt in your heart on getting to know the bitter fact, can be highly destructive. After all, the person you are feeling jealous of is your best friend and you have had moments of laughs and tears together. However if the sight of the two makes you tense, get yourself engaged at some other activity, channel your excess emotions to some productive work rather than upsetting yourself or getting jealous. The more jealous you feel, the more chances exist of hurting yourself.
8. Identify what makes your bestie likeable:
Okay, so your crush likes your best friend. But have you ever wondered why? What quality of your best friend makes him/her so likeable? Is it the looks, the style, the heart or something else? You need to know what makes your crush feel attracted towards your bestie, and perhaps when you know what it is, you can improve yourself on that and catch the eye of your crush. It’s always important to know the likes and dislikes of your crush if you want to make an impression. Changing one’s personality drastically is neither recommended nor practical, but little changes can be brought about to seek attention of your crush. However such changes are only effective if your crush has mere infatuation with your best friend.
7. “Avoiding” makes no sense:
It is natural and common to resort to avoiding any face to face meets with your crush or your best friend on knowing that there is something messy and often one ends up alienating one self. But, the right behavior in such cases is to act normal. Avoiding makes no sense, as there is nothing wrong on anyone’s part in the whole situation. You should stay close to your crush and not kill the remaining dim chances of getting your crush to like you. By avoiding your crush, you’re doing nothing but showing him/her that you are a loser. You should treat him/her like a normal friend, be friends with his/her friends, drop compliments as before and be cheerful and lively because that will only make you likeable.
6. Let your crush know your feelings:
Nothing can be worse than the situation when your feelings are not known to your crush and your best friend. In that case, you might never be an option for your crush. Moreover your crush and your bestie may do or say things in front of you that may be offending and uncomfortable to you. You must either let your heart straight out or drop hints at right times and places so that your crush may know that you are interested. This would also make your friend more considerate. And even if it does not work out between you and your crush in future, you would never feel regretful in future that you missed a chance. But remember not to over express. Telling your crush that you like them 9-10 times a day can be a great turn off.
5. Is your crush worth it? :
This pathetic situation that we are talking about can, at times, take an ugly face and leave you with two choices – friendship or no friendship. What assumes great importance here is staying calm and deciding what you actually want. Also it is time rethink whether your crush is worth it? Would you want someone to come between you and your best friend? Do you like your crush enough to let go off years of friendship? Also, is your friend more into you or your crush? Answers to these questions will eventually help you settle with the right choice. However, it would be always better if such a situation never arrives because this would most probably be a painful decision.
4. Sharing REALLY helps:
Experts say “sharing” is the best remedy to psychological problems, especially heart breaks. So don’t keep it to yourself, there’s no need to feel suffocated with despair and helplessness. Share what you’re going through with someone trustworthy, you can also talk to your best friend and tell him/her what’s happening. If he/she actually is your best friend, he/she will find the way out. If you are not comfortable with the one your crush likes, share it with some other friend or cousin. But by sharing, I don’t mean bitching. Be honest but stay away from feelings of jealousy or hatred. It’s natural and you must accept it.
3. Don’t try too hard. At least “act” cool:
I know finding that your crush likes your best friend isn’t the coolest of things, but the best remedy to the problem is staying “cool”. Your crush looking at your best friend isn’t a good sight at all, but at least pretending that you’re cool about it will surely be helpful. You can’t start giving abrupt responses or showing that you are affected. This would end up hurting yourself and building a negative image in your circle. Also, don’t try too hard to make your crush like you, don’t push yourself too much, and don’t make your crush feel you are easy and unworthy. Rather they must feel lucky that a person, so cool and happy go lucky as you, likes them.
2. Explore the numerous options you have:
The world is full of colors, brightness, nice people and positivity if one has the right perception. As I mentioned above, finding that your crush likes your best friend is not the end of the world. There’s always more to explore and learn. Let other beautiful people, things and activities take your attention. What if he/she likes someone else, maybe this happened because someone else is meant to enter your life soon and fill it with love and joy. Moreover, getting yourself involved with other people and things may help your crush to see and identify your enhanced personality. He/she should never take you for granted. So, go show your crush and others what you’re made of. Stop worrying and start enjoying better things around you.
1. Smile through the way!
The best thing one can do through this condition and through all bad times is to always wear a smile. No one likes to be with a whining, complaining and gloomy person. When you smile, the world will smile along with you. And always believe that petty things like these have no right to take away smile from your lips. Whether you plan to move on or not, whether you get involved with someone else or not and whether you still be best friends with your buddy or not, your smile will impart you strength all throughout this difficult time. And one day it will all be over – no more uncertainty, no more despair and no more insecurity. Peace and love shall prevail. Everything will eventually fall in place. Wait for your time, and wait with a smile running over your lips!