Life is full of ups and downs, in short life is like a roller coaster, many a time people whom we trust the most hurt us in the worst possible way. ‘Forgive and forget’ is harder than it sounds. It becomes tough even to discuss the situation and the incident with someone else. But, do not worry, you are not the only one facing such dismay. There are many ways to regain confidence and try to move on.
Here is a list of things which might help you to forgive and forget
1. Forgive and Let Go
Moving on is a tedious task. It takes a very long time even to consider moving on from the incident and the people involved. But to forgive, letting go is very important. Coming in terms with the people and the situation can also help you to let go. In some ways or the other, you were connected with the people before the world turn upside down. Take a lesson in your life from the mistake made in the incident and try not to repeat it next time. Forgive the person for his doings and just let it go. Always keep in mind that life is teaching you a lesson from the incident that occurred. Just feel that there is’ nobody’s mistake and forgive the person.
2. Looking Back
Many a time we judge and misinterpret the situation. Looking back at the whole incident and the factors which lead to the mishap can help you in coping with the present. It helps in sympathizing with other people involved and helps you to forgive them. You may realize there were some mistakes in your part; you have to forgive yourself too. You do not have to relive the nightmare again; the day has already passed. But there is no harm looking back one last time for the missing and misplaced pieces.
3. Growing as A Person
Whatever might be the situation or the incident, it happened. You cannot change what happened, but you can always rectify your mistakes. You can still grow and make yourself a better person. The good you do in this world will come back to you. Holding grudges will help you or the people around you. People reacted the way they did, you reacted the way you did, but you can control your actions, not theirs. Either you can stop everything to plot an act of revenge, or you can take a step back to look at your actions. You do not have to accuse anyone, not even yourself.
4. Change of Perspective
“What would you do if you were in my place?” There are two sides of a coin, and right now you must be looking just at the one facing you. Change your thinking perspective and look at things from another person. When you put in favor of the view of other people who were involved, you will realize there are more reasons than you earlier believed. You will understand their actions must better, and this will help you come in terms with the whole outcome. This step not only helps you to sympathize with others but also to forgive them. It is not a blame-game but rather a step to learn, forgive, and forget.
5. Accepting the Whole Situation
It is tough to forget when you are in a constant battle with the people involved or the whole situation. You might differ from them because of their actions, both emotionally and physically. It is not easy to accept or understand other action against you. There might be things you wish you did differently, but now you can not change the situation or even your step. Instead, you can accept everything. Stop seeing the incident as war and stop treating the people involved as the enemy.
Accept that you got hurt.
You have to Accept that the people involved hurting you did what they did.
Accept you cannot change anything.
Accept that you can be a bigger person.
And Accept that you can forgive.
6. Burning the Past
We have many physical things that remind us of people and the mishap incident. Let it be a teddy bear, coffee mug, letters or emails, or any other souvenir; we connect these things with the person. What you can do to forget him instead of getting rid of everything related to them. You do not have to live amidst things which are a constant reminder of the mishap.
7. Spiritual Journey to Forgiveness
In this era, spirituality is not connected with religion or a single religious belief. A healthy mind should have a healthy spirituality too. Being spiritual will help in keeping the mind calm amid the chaos but is also essential for physical health. Reconnect with your religious beliefs; your mind is in a mess with the incident playing your head again n again. It is important to forgive the people who hurt you intentionally and unintentionally. Remember, forgiveness is the first step to moving on. Without mercy, you can not forget and move on.
8. Restart with A Short Break
After the incident, you can become vulnerable, emotionally, and physically. Doing simple tasks and your usual routine can be very difficult when your mind is running miles around the whole incident and people involved. What you can do is restart everything with a short break. It will also help you with your spiritual peace of mind. Taking a break will help you to reflect on the incident and help you with coming up with it. You will be better able to forgive and forget after your mind is refreshed and ready to move on.
9. A Journey for New Start
In the worst-case scenario if you are unable to forget and move past the incident and the emotional trauma, then it is better to leave the people behind and start a new chapter. It is possible that you can forgive the people, you can even forgive their actions and consequences, but it is tough to forget the incident. In this situation, do not panic but instead make a plan to overcome. You can not stop living because of others; you have to survive; you have to flourish. If the people involved were close relatives or friends, then find your way to be independent of them and work on it. You do not have to face them every day or every second.
10. Take Help from A Counselor
It is never so late to ask for help. Because of the incident, you might be vulnerable, emotionally, and mentally. We underestimate how much our mental health affects our physical health. It is better to seek help from a counselor who will help you to cope up with grief, mental or emotional trauma, and help you to move on. You can not change or rewrite the incident, but you can forgive and forget.