Breaking up can lead to turmoil and pain. All breakups are painful as getting detached from the one you thought was your perfect one, causes severe heartache. If you ended on bad terms, it will be even hard to get over it. Sleepless nights on wondering what went wrong and what you can do to fix it up is what you might be going through. But let me tell you, it’s worthless. You should pick yourself up and find ways to get over it.
Even though it was a friends with benefits thing or a short-term relationship, losing someone you connected with and felt comfortable with is, heartbreaking. Initial days will be full of whining, but stretching it for a longer period can cause over thinking and kill your happiness.
If it was your first break up, you’ll feel devastated and if it’s your 5th or 6th breakup, you’ll end up thinking that you are not made for love or that love and relationships are not your thing. But you should remember that great opportunities come with time, open up yourself to those opportunities. You have to be happy again no matter what. Understand that it’s not the end of the world. LIFE GOES ON.
You should feel proud of yourself, that you came here. It means you have taken the first step to get over your bad breakup. Following tips will help forget about it all and start with a new phase of life.
Work on yourself
It’s high time that you stop worrying about your supposed other half and focus on yourself. Pick up a hobby that you always wanted to do. Give yourself some ‘ME’ time. Focus on what’s good for you and what’s not. Be selfish and think about yourself for some time, because no one will understand you better than yourself.
Go for a job that you have always dreamt of, or pick up a course that interests you. Keep yourself busy in doing things you could never do or didn’t have the time to follow-up with; it will be of great help for you to stop thinking about your ex and your relationship with them.
Avoid the temptation of revenge
No matter what your ex did, borrowed money and never returned or cheated on you or even did you wrong. Just avoid the urge to take revenge. Taking revenge is not healthy. Remember karma’s going to do its job: What goes around definitely comes back around. Also, revenge will keep a prolonged connection with your ex which will hurt you even more. Just let go of him and all his wrong doings.
Accept that your ex wasn’t ‘THE ONE’
You both broke up for your own good. Accept that he wasn’t your prince charming or she wasn’t your Ms.Perfect. If they would have been your perfect one, they wouldn’t have left in the first place and no matter how hard it was for you both to stay together, he/she would have never given up on you.
Take a clean break
Disconnect with them from everywhere. No calls, no text messages, Skype or whatsoever. Stop texting them to know what they are up to or if you can meet them. Unfriend them from Facebook, block them from Whatsapp and remove them from your contact list.
Focus on why you both broke up
Keep in mind the reason you both parted. Think about it and focus on it. Make peace with the reason why it didn’t work out. This will help you understand that you both were not meant to be and you should let go of him/her. Also, this will make you strong enough to get ahead and analyse the situation you are in.
Meditate, don’t medicate.
Avoid the urge of consuming alcohol and substance to suffice your feelings. Overdose of coffee and chocolates will be harmful and will make you more depressed. Let go of such habits and meditate instead. Practise yoga and exercise.
Get plenty of sleep and eat healthy
Over thinking about why you both broke up and what if you guys can work it out again. Or even thinking about your past relationship can lead to sleepless nights. Avoid it as much as possible. Get plenty of sleep to refresh your mind. Eat healthy to keep yourself fit and fine. Do not harm your body. Your body is your own temple. Glorify it.
Surround yourself with smiles and happy vibes.
Be with people who make you happy. Avoid those who discourage you or make you look back. Surround yourself with your friends, go partying with them, hangout and make yourself happy.
Take some responsibility.
We all have this tendency of blaming people for their shortcomings. But you have to understand that a coin has 2 sides, that means some way or the other it was your fault too that it ended. Own up to your mistakes; understand that you were at fault too. You have flaws too. Work on them and move on.
Refocus your life
Refocus on your priorities. The time you gave to your ex, fill that void with some other things. Spend time with your family. Go on a trip. This step is the hardest one because now you’ll realise that the relationship is finally over. Go for a mini vacation with your friends or by yourself.
Talk to a therapist
Your friends by now might be tired of listening to your sob story. They might be partial towards you and make you look good even though you made mistakes too. Talk to a third person who’ll be completely impartial. Meet a therapist, vent out your feelings. They’ll guide you better.
Keep a journal
Another way of venting out your feelings is to write them out. Write good and bad points about your relationship. Write about how you guys broke up and how miserable it left you. Pen down everything that’s bothering you and then burn it or tear it off.
I assure you you’ll feel relieved after this exercise.
Allow time to grieve
Cry your heart out. Cry when you feel the urge to cry. Scream and let all the feelings out. But when you do this just keep in mind that it should happen only for a certain period. When you’ll be done letting your feelings out, do not cry for that reason again. Make yourself strong and get ahead.
Avoid posting the details on social media
We all love sympathy in a good way. But posting unnecessarily on social media about your separation will make people sceptical of your relationship. They will think that you are still stuck onto your ex and that you cannot move on. People will constantly ask you about your relationship and this will make it harder for you to move on. So just avoid posting details on social media. Keep your feelings private and share them with people who actually understand.
Remove painful memory triggers.
This may seem hard but is an important step to move on. Get rid of all the things he/she got you, throw them out or burn them. Delete all your pictures with them. Having things which remind you of him/her will make it even hard to recover from your breakup. All those things that make your heart ache or bring back memories, should be thrown away.