The Greeks had four words to describe one in English – “love”. Now though the title states nothing of love per se, I mention it still.
You see, the wise Greeks had foreseen this discrepancy. They defined love or liking as “Eros” (romantic love), “Phileo” (fondness and friendship), “Storge” (familial loyalty) and “Agape” (unconditional, God-like love).
The gradual transition from Phileo to Eros is what we urbanely consider the development of a “crush” or a strong liking. And this is exactly what I talk about in this article. It is seen, in rare cases, that an individual dives straight into Eros – these singular specimens, however, are far, far easier to detect and to draw out as being in love.
The latter, on the other hand, is far more complex a social exemplification. And so people devise ways in which one may determine the other’s intentions or read his or her mind.
Men are often believed to make brazen advances to women, as is very openly broadcast in cinema and popular fiction. This is both true and untrue.
Are they clumsy at times? Yes, they are.
Are they insensitive or creepy? Certainly.
But without wishing to discriminate between the cultured and uncultured, that men can, sometimes, or even always, be as tactful as women, is unquestionable.
This list does not claim to be definitive or exhaustive. But I daresay it will help those young ladies who are as bamboozled about men as men are about them. So here are — 12 Ways to Know If a Guy Likes You…..
12. Nickname Game
There’s a real reason as to why parent’s keep pet names for children or why friends have codenames or why the media labels celebrities with sobriquets. It establishes a certain familiarity and closeness. And this very same principle is basis of understanding the building up of heterosexual or for that matter, even homosexual love.
The guy in question, if truly interested in blossoming a romance with you, will never fail to have a cuter, more personal way of addressing you. If may so happen that you already are called something similar by your girl gang. In this case, he’s pretty sure to come up with something new to call you. And you’re pretty sure to know someone likes you.
11. “Stop butting in!”
You both are returning from college and walking home. He’s telling you this particularly funny tale of how the 1930s actress Jean Harlow was put down by the immensely patrician Margot, Lady Asquith, wife of the British Prime Minister. He barely manages to say how Harlow insisted on addressing Lady Asquith by her first name, and made it worse by pronouncing the ‘t’ at the end of Margot, when another male friend of yours barges in and asks if either of you have seen “The Lego Batman Movie”. You say you haven’t, and before you ask for it, the newcomer begins rambling on about how amazing the plot was. You’re a closet geek and love Batman, so you’re easily carried away into the diversion. By the time he’s done and leaves the company of you and our original man friend, and you’re back to hearing the tale of Jean Harlow, he’s sullen and irritable and just mumbles something about how Lady Asquith quipped, “My dear, the ‘t’ is silent — as in Harlow.”
You giggle forcibly, but you’ve probably noticed the transition. Add one to the boys who like you.
10. Online and offline antics
You check your notifications on Facebook. There are thirteen in total. The first one reads, “XYZ tagged you in….” The second one reads, “XYZ tagged you in…..” The third one reads, “XYZ tagged you in…..”
“Maybe he’s just trying to be sweet,” you think. You blindly click on the fourth post he’s tagged you in.
It’s a picture of an actress sullenly pouting, with the caption below stating, “Tag a girl who looks beautiful when angry”. I guess you’ve already unfriended him by now.
If you haven’t, you’re either one who is wont to similarly tag others on such cheesy posts on Facebook and Instagram, or one who has tremendous powers of toleration.
Speaking of texting, if he uses more emojis than words, you know he’s probably smitten. The very sight of the ‘blowing a kiss’ emoji or a heart of any colour sent at constant frequency, should tell you something.
In college or office, he sends you notes and chits asking what you’re up to, checking in on you, suggesting y’all meet – you have to be pretty naïve to miss these signals.
It is another normal day. But he is abnormally melancholic. You both are seated in a sparsely populated park, and he sighs, looking skywards. No, you don’t have to be that nervous, he’s going to save the big question for later. Now, however, he’s going to bore you to death with an impassioned rhapsody about his previous heartbreaks, about how, despite being dumped and broken, he still believes in love. Believe it or not, even if he isn’t this dramatic, he will find a way to slip in this information to you. If he happens to have always been a hitherto single person, he’s going to drill this into your head even more. Why?
Sympathy, ladies. Simple enough. Almost every potential relationship has a reacher and a settler. In 90 cases out of 100, the former is the male. It is the unwritten duty of the reacher to garner some favour from the settler. And thus gyrates the thread of conversation.
8. Hair game
While through your numerous conversations, notice also the number of times he runs his hand through his hair. And no, dandruff has the least to do with this.
7. The gentleman’s offense
The gentleman is always protective of his lady. This is an unofficial commandment in his rule book. Today’s men, however, stop just short of going overboard, by taking offense for the most trivial of quips and jibes, on behalf of the lady they’re wooing. If you notice him getting jumpy at the very mention of your name in jest, be assured, the insecure jock is interested in you. He may disguise his fervour beneath the garb of feminism and gender equality and what not, but you shall always know better. Of course, ladies, always bear in mind that this prudish righteousness stops short at jokes cracked by him.
6. Overdrive of recommendations
They say, “Taste is the feminine of genius.” And what better way to steal a lady’s heart than by showing you’re among the upper echelons of sophistication? Males are very likely to use this rather pretentious method, which involves going on an excess of suggesting to his female interest a plethora of songs, films, books, television show, web series, plays, and anything else under the sun.
Young adults are mired in this perpetual struggle to fit in with the contemporary crowd, to be in the know about all things trendy, and at the same time, stand out as unique, special individuals with mature tastes and better interests. As much as they would detest being ignorant of the newest song, the freshest Hollywood gossip, or the latest of news banalities, they would love appearing quirky and different – having read strange books of older times, seen the most outlandish of films and TV shows, and painstakingly built the most eclectic of phone playlists possible.
5. Selfie, please
This trick is simple. The guy will wait for an occasion to have a picture with you and then change it to his WhatsApp display. Easy. And it makes you happy too, right? Well, that depends, I know.
4. Dress up
Ostentation is one of the most easily detectable ways to know if he is secretly wishing to woo you. If you see him wear a close-fitting three piece suit for a casual evening out with your mutual friends, you may as well question his fashion sense. But if the only places he spares this overdressing tendencies are the ones that you are not present, doesn’t it hint something totally different?
3. Olfactory signals
Next time you’re out with him, ensure you clear that blocked nose. That way you can smell vividly the heavy deluge of perfume he has sprayed into the parts that matter. If you make this a regular practice, you may even detect a continuous change in scent, as the poor man is figuring out which one truly suits your taste.
Prehistoric man was known to confess his attraction to a female (of his own kind), by gentle cooing, shows of masculine strength, and often, touch. Man may have evolved, but his carnal instincts remain the same in essence. Most modern day males, thankfully, are subtle in their physical suggestiveness. But even so, it often reeks of creepiness, unless done well. Hi-fives and fist-bumps are a common way of appreciation, but if you find a guy asking you for one too many a day, you may suspect, if not ascertain, that he likes you. Males are wont to also hold your hand for a variety of reasons, be it in a crowded train station, or on an isolated road. The guy in question may also dupe you into eating with him, during which he will, ever so gently, wipe the corner of your mouth – even if all you had was water.
1. Love is a Fest
I know I mentioned the fact that he will wait for occasions. But clicking pictures is a whole different ball game from actually trying to spend some valuable festive time with you and consolidating those precious moments to become forever happy memories.
Be it at Halloween or Christmas, New Year or Diwali, he will make it a point to meet you, complement your looks, chat with you about life and dance with you.
Your birthday is his birthday too. He’ll call at 12 in the night, visit you at home, hug you for a millisecond longer. He won’t ever fail will buy something cute for you.
On his big day, he’ll take you out for a treat, maybe even for a couple of drinks to see how much you divulge. After all, guys will be guys.
So now you know. Dispel your confusion and those silly little insecurities. Go out there and find out if he really likes you. Don’t know what to do after finding out?
Well, that’s for another article…. Cheerio!