Loving someone is an easy task. However to get married to someone and build a family and to sustain a relationship takes effort. As it is rightly said, a happy marriage is about three things: memories of togetherness, forgiveness of mistakes and promises to never give up on each other. However, as the lifestyles and family structures changed in the recent years, failing marriages have become a trend. People often forget that a family is not always sunshine. The issues are blown up and people try to part their ways than trying to be together. According to a recent report published by the Hindu, divorce petitions have gone up manifold in the country over the last 10 years. People are no longer ready to bear a failing relationship. Women are independent and courageous enough to break an abusive relationship.
Some consider marriage to be the end of love, while some others consider marriage to be an incredible journey together. Whatever it is, it is quite true that it takes only small issues that burst out to break a marriage. Listed down are some common reasons why marriages fail. Check out and make sure you are not going through one.
1. Expectations! Expectations
Well, Expectation is a silent killer of marriages. The reason why a marriage might end up in a divorce is because of unmet expectations. Two people beginning their own journey might expect a lot from each other. Even the tiniest of things matter like not picking her up from the office or not taking care of him properly. When these unmet expectations pile up one after another and if either or both of the partners are not paying sufficient attention to it, the condition might lead to frustration. One can start thinking what is the point after all? Antonio Banderas once said, “Expectation is the mother of frustration.” The best way to sort this out is to make sure you let your partner know of the expectations that you are having. Sometimes, an open chat might save your marriage and all the troubles that it accompanies.
2. Improper Communication
Poor communication is definitely a no-no. The thing that anyone has to remember is relationships never have a natural death; it is you who kill it. According to Huffington post, the reason cited for 65% of marriage failures is poor communication. Women and men suffer from different communication problems. While men cite complaining and nagging as the common issue in communication, women are of the opinion that their opinions never get validated. It is hence important that the partners understand each other’s nature. Showing disinterest in what one has to say leads to a lot of issues. Poor communication later leads to a blame game. It also leads to a situation where problems are never sorted but piled up.
3. Cultural issues
The reason why cross-cultural marriages are always on the edge of threat is because of the fact that marriage is hardly a two people affair. It involves the family of those getting married. If you fall from two cultures there might be minor issues on trivial stuff like food, clothing and life habits. Chances of this shooting up to be a major problem are high. The only solution to this problem is to stop judging each other. People live in different conditions and are from different backgrounds and you are in love with the person next to you. Her back ground or culture shall not matter to you as much as the fact that the person you love is next to you.
4. Abuse problems
Compassion is one thing that takes marriages forward. Most often marriages die slowly. The initial issues piling up, adding one after other and a small issue taking its lead to end it forever. Abusing your partner shows a lack of compassion. Abuse doesn’t circumscribe to physical abuse alone. It could be verbal or mental abuses too. Not every fight leaves a visible scar. However, a person might be scarred within. And believe me, time won’t heal everything. As compassion evades from marriage, you start finding pleasure in blaming your partner and abusing them. Love shifts way for contempt. And contempt develops towards breaking apart.
5. Sex related issues
Can sex lead to an end of a marriage? Yes, it can. Dissatisfaction in the bedroom is a reason why most marriages fail. There are many sex related issues. When it is just one of the partners who controls it, it is an issue. When sex is used as a medium to punish one another that again poses an issue. There is no denial of the fact that proper sex life is often synonymous with the intimacy you share with your partner. To know the likes and dislikes plays a major role. It is estimated that one out of three couples have a sexual desire gap. If issues are prevailing over this for a longer time it is better that the couples take a decision to meet a physician before it starts to break you apart.
6. Substance Abuse
Habits die hard, but not marriage. Having a partner who drinks way too much or who smokes or use drug is a definite no-no for the other. Substance abuse increases the emotional gap between two people. It not just affects them, but their kids too, if any. Often this becomes a reason for fights and conflicts. And if one of them is addicted to any of these, and is not ready to give up, the problem worsens. In many cases, substance abuse is followed by an episode of domestic violence. When drinking or smoking becomes a habit that the second person is unable to bear, it is better that one of them tries to quit them before issues go out of hand. It is important to prioritise- Is alcohol or cigarettes more important to you or your partner?
7. Lack of freshness
People can fall out of love as much as they fall in love. It is slowly that the spark of a relationship fades. The new found intimacy, the thrill of knowing a person, fades away as time passes. When people get too busy in their lives they often forget to spend time together. There is no more fun, no more pillow fights, no going out. Often taking a break to do things that you like together is essential to save a marriage. A small trekking together at times can save lot of fights that you are having. Spending time together is quintessential in maintaining a relationship.
8. Ego as the villain
Ego is another villain. It often comes out when you are unable to prove yourself. Accepting your partner as important and equal to you is essential. Your partner isn’t your slave but your counterpart. And it is also a fact that you might not always be right. Having a mentality to listen to others and accepting your flaws is essential to save your marriage.
9. Trust issues
Trust is often a complicated matter. It breaks once and for all. Everyone has uncertainty on whom to trust. But if you have trust issues with your very own soul mate, things are not going the right way. The fact that you are not trusting your partner or you are not trusted by your partner is equally disheartening.
10. Extra marital relationships
Infidelity is perhaps as old as marriage. Cheating a person and finding your pleasure is selfish and humiliating. The best way is to get out of a relationship and start one fresh than sticking on to your marriage and having affairs. This adds to your guilt and its difficult to survive a relationship with guilt.