Congratulations! You’ve probably reached this page because it’s 3 AM and you’re googling self-help advice for your painful breakup.
Breakups can be real stressful and even harder to deal with when such a huge part of you leaves. So here are a few tried and tested tips on how to deal with breakups!
Bonus Tip: You can try Kareena Kapoor’s recovery technique from Jab We Met, it’ll be fun but just make sure you block all of their possible ways to be able to contact you once you’re done.
10. Keep your distance
Do not speak to your ex. Yes. Do it. Block them everywhere you can. In real and in virtual life. You don’t want to find yourself stalking them in the middle of the night with some unhealthy snack at your disguise. I get it, its hard going by with your life without them, but its not impossible. So before asking them to be ‘friends’ or when they suggest it, take your time to decide. You don’t have to rush into anything. You had a life before them and you are going to have a life after them. Keep your distance for a while, so you know better than to just fall back into their arms.
9. Develop a Hobby
Developing a hobby will get your mind off of things. Take up something that interests you. Reading, writing, swimming, a game maybe or whatever else that grabs your attention other than stalking your ex, obviously. It will give you a chance to discover a new part to you and also, you might just find something to spark up your resume. Mostly, the hobby will keep you distracted and help your mind not wander to the breakup.
8. Talking to someone
Talk. Get it out. Feel those things and let them out. Cry, talk, shout. Do it all. Keeping it inside you is only going to hurt you more, it’ll eat you from inside. Share what you feel. And its not necessary to talk to your friends or family. If you don’t want to talk to them, it’s okay, you don’t have to. There are tons of other people you could talk to, therapists, psychologists or you could call those helplines. You could talk to anyone, just make sure that person will help you get up and not fall deeper down.
Or if you don’t feel like talking or that you don’t have someone to talk to, you could just write about your feelings. Write everything you feel, every single thing. Even if you are not a regular or occasional writer, this will help you a lot. Suppressing unpleasant feelings is our natural instinct, but the road to recovery is to feel it all. Feel it all and write/talk about it. Cry, if you feel like it, just get everything out.
6. Focus on yourself
Just because your ‘other half’ abandoned you, doesn’t mean you should abandon yourself. Focus on yourself. Feed yourself well, keep yourself healthy and happy. Usually, after a breakup, people stop taking care of themselves and just develop unhealthy eating habits, etc. But don’t do that. Focus on yourself and develop yourself to be a more better person that you already are. Make yourself proud. Love yourself first.
5. Don’t shut out
After a breakup, especially a bad one, people tend to give up on themselves and feel that what they are going through is permanent. But it’s not. This is all going to go away and you are going to get through it all. There are other people who care for you and love you. Don’t give up on yourself just yet. There’s a lot more to see and there’s a lot more to learn. This is not the end. Don’t shut yourself out. Use this opportunity to grow and develop.
4. Do the things you love
Take a nice long bath. Spend the day at the spa. Go shopping. Dance. Take a nice long walk on the beach. Travel. Go out. Eat tubs of ice-cream. Do everything you need to do to make yourself feel better. Do the things you love with the people you love. Surround yourself with friends and family. Treat yourself to something that will make you feel good, whether it’s a cup of coffee with a friend or a massage. Self-care is essential to the healing process, and doing things that make you smile can help you heal.
3. Have somewhere to be
Follow your routine. When going through a breakup, it’s easier to just wake up in the morning, call in sick and just sleep through the day and do nothing. Okay, I get it sometimes you need a break and just need life to stop. You get one day, ONE DAY, to call in sick and sleep through your awful feelings. But the very next day, you are going to wake up, not call in sick and go through your whole day like you usually would. Treat yourself to coffee or a nice lunch. Travel to a new place. Just do something. Do not indulge in self-pity.
2. Fill the Void yourself
Do not go for rebounds, I repeat, DO NOT. Attempt to fill that void yourself. You don’t need someone to make you feel complete or better. You can do that for yourself. You owe that much to yourself. Rebounds might make you feel better temporarily but its only going to make things worse. Rebounds are temporary pleasures and not the permanent solution. Trying to fill that void yourself will help you realise that you are enough and competent to complete yourself and to make yourself a better person.
1. Believe, don’t lose hope.
Believe in yourself and do not lose hope that you will find love again. Right now, you maybe at a stage in your life where you feel everything is falling apart and that you will never be normal again. But trust me, you will be. Human bodies are designed to be hurt and then heal. So, you are going to get through this. And one day, you are going to fall in love again. Seven billion people in this world and you believe there’s no one out there for you? Now that’s a little crazy. Give yourself time. Good things come to those who wait.
The searing pain of a failed relationship is the greatest suffering many of us will ever experience. But trust me, one day you are going to wake up and have the greatest feeling ever, of moving on, of being over it. And then suddenly anything about that person isn’t going to matter anymore because you won’t care. It will take time, but it will happen. Till then, take control and be patient.